What you’re feeling is natural. Gaining & encouraging is sexual. Sex is best enjoyed with a partner, a counterpart: top/bottom, Dom/sub, pony/rider, man/woman, gainer/encourager. When gainers and encouragers are without a sexual partner, hot chat and masturbation are their only sexual expression. While this can be fun, it can become tiresome and disappointing, leaving the gainer or encourager feeling demotivated, alone, doubtful, or even guilty, frustrated, or resentful. I’m writing all this to you because validation is often lacking in our community. Online, people may celebrate our gains or appreciate our bodies, but there can be a deafening silence when we experience confusion, retreat, or reversal. All this is to say, you are not alone. Gainers AND encouragers feel what you’re feeling at various points in their lives. This is just part of the ride.