Anonymous: So what would you say is a good first step towards accepting the fat part of me?
My Response: My, my… that’s a huge and vague quandary. I’m not sure what “the fat part of [you]” is. Are you fat? Are you a gainer who desires to be fat?
No matter. Fat is the taboo, whether manifest on your body or imagined in your desires. The answer is contained in your question. There is no “fat part” of yourself. There is only you, complete and whole. You have created a “fat part” that is taboo and unacceptable, perhaps even disgusting to you. (If you’re a gainer, these ideas are integral to the architecture of the kink.) Even so, all of this is you.
So instead of asking how to accept the “fat part” of yourself, instead remember that you created the “fat part” in the first place. Imagine tying a string tightly around your finger and asking, “How do I accept the part of the finger below the string? How can I let blood flow to that part of my finger? Well, you take off the string that you tied there. In the same way, you can dismantle the imaginary wall that separates the acceptable you from the unacceptable you–the “fat part.” You are whole. Trust the integrity of your being. Anything else is a fiction that you have created out of guilt, or shame, or regret. These are the ties that bind us. They are the imaginary tourniquets that section and partition you, that hold some portion of you apart so that you can say, “This is not really me.” But this is how we create monsters.
For some people, the monster is their fat body. For others, it is the desire to become monstrously obese. For example, I know one gainer in particular who refers to his intense desire to fatten himself as Mr. Hyde. In my private work with people, I lead them to make friends with their monster, then to embrace their monster, and ultimately to make their monster a powerful ally. For there is no monster really. He’s simply a creature you created out of you.
August 24th, 2015 12:08am