A fan of my gainer fiction recently wrote me about Soldier Boys Don’t Cry. He wrote, “It really touched some dark yearnings in me, to be mastered by a so convincing feeder like in that book. I really cant get the images the words out of my mind, and I don’t know if i want to. My question, if any, is how can this be made real? or at least explored and walked down?
Much of the story actually comes from my experiences in real life, so it’s quite possible to have that sort of relationship. The key, however, is to remember that weight gain and domination is only the sexual component of a real gainer/encourager relationship. Even in Soldier Boys Don’t Cry, you can see the loving care that the encourager takes not only in seducing the gainer, but also in supporting him. In this case, it’s not a flowery, sentimental love, but it is a bond of affection and commitment nonetheless.
The reader asked where such encouragers can be found. I get this question a lot, actually. I think it starts by making your desires as a gainer known to the people you talk to online—or at the very least responding honestly when that powerful dom hits you up. Many people have these dark desires, but they’re ashamed of them, or they’re afraid they won’t be reciprocated by the other person. Even if the other person doesn’t share your dark desires, it seldom ends in disaster. “Thanks, but no thanks” is usually the worst it gets.
If you do find that dominant encourager you long for, a few words of advice. It’s okay to admit your fears. It’s okay to confess your doubts. How he responds, will be a good indicator of whether he’s the guy for you. A good encourager is often aroused by a gainer’s fears and welcomes the challenge of his doubts. However, the relationship—any relationship—must have respect, which includes the respect of any limits that the two of you set. (Believe me, encouragers have their limits too.)
In coaching encouragers, I often say that the most important thing to bring to the relationship is listening. Again, you can see this in Soldier Boys Don’t Cry. Listening doesn’t mean acquiescing, but it also doesn’t mean forcing. In my opinion, a dom who has to force a situation has lost his power. The encourager in Soldier Boys Don’t Cry never uses force; force is necessary only in the absence of power. The dance of gainer and encourager is that the gainer deeds his power and his body to his encourager. The encourager receives this gift and honors it. And in return, he places his body in the service of the gainer. Again, you can see this played out in the story.