There’s so much to say about feeding of any kind—all the various styles, objectives, techniques, foods, implements–and then this is intensified if we talk about so-called force-feeding. Feeding is best learned in an apprenticeship, the way other BDSM techniques are best learned—even if the technique is simple, light, and fun. Most of us encouragers, however, usually learn by trial and error, which is a great injustice for our fatboys. Yes, feeding can be simple, romantic, and cute, but you can get any normie off the street to feed chocolate-covered strawberries and coo insipidly. That’s not really what most gainers are talking about when they say “I want to be fed,” and certainly not when they say, “I want you to force feed me.”
For the encourager, feeding comes down to only one thing:
Listening.
There are two obstacles to listening…
The first is that the more intense the feeding scene, the less your fatboy is capable of communicating. You must listen not just to his words (if he can even form any) but also to his body, his eyes, his breathing. You must read the signs before they become difficulties, and in intense scenes, emergencies.
The second obstacle to listening is you, the encourager. Your hard-on. Your hormones raging and blinding you to everything but your own erection. Ever had a gainer push your hand away? You weren’t listening. Ever had him spit up or choke? You weren’t listening. Ever had him sneeze cream, or cough pastry, or throw up a gallon of ice cream? You weren’t fucking listening. These things are never ever the gainer’s fault. If you’re even somewhat dominant as an encourager (or just hot), you’re going to find yourself with gainers who will abandon themselves to you. Though this instinct is appropriate to the kink, too often we are not as competent as they would credit us.
If you are a very good dom, you will transport your fatboy to a state of ecstasy, which means he can no longer judge his own limits. He shouldn’t have to. That’s your job. His job is to lose himself in you. Your job is to be worthy of that and accept the gift that it is. In short, you are taking him on a ride on which he gets drunk on you, on eating, and on getting even fatter. That makes you the designated driver.
That might sound like no fun. I promise you that it’s ecstatic:
The more you develop as an encourager, the more you’ll see it’s all about the Fatboy. Always. And the more dominant you are, the more critical it is that you understand this. Your sexuality is expressed not in his obesity, but in his need for obesity…his need for gluttony, and dissipation, and you. That’s what you are: the fulfillment of that need. That’s what you’re for.
And so in time, you will find that the root of your desire is to fulfill what is most aching and all-consuming for him: His need to eat beyond reason. His need to bury himself in piles of fat. His need to turn over control of his health and his body to you, as you put your body in the service of his.
If you approach force feeding this way, it will be ecstatic.
For more on the gainer/encourager dynamic, see my book, The Round World: Life at the Intersection of Love, Sex, and Fat.